Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
