Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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