I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
