The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
