this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
