God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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