she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
