your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
