oh god the rape fog is back!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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