How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
