dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
