your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
