the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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