The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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