I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
