Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
