I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
