i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
