Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
