can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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