oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
