The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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