so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
