VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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