I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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