mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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