also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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