They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
