she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
