Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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