I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The Olympian is in my bed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
