he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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