Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
