What a fucking waste of an outfit
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
