Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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