Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
