Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
