He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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