Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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