i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
