mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
