Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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