these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
