I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
