ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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