Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
