god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
