yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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