I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
