so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
