I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
