people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
